Aside from all of the story-like elements of a relationship that romance movies depict, the movies also tell nuns that a relationship can offer them a sense of security. The movies provide excellent examples for why nuns should want a boyfriend. They say that a boyfriend becomes your built-in best friend; you will never be lonely because he will always want to hang out with you; he will shower you with compliments, and you will feel good about yourself in general.
Everyone wants to feel loved and appreciated.
However, a problem arises when a nun cannot separate those feelings of self-worth and appreciation from the idea that having a boyfriend will automatically grant her these things.
Thus, my second point is do not attempt to start a relationship because you think that having a boyfriend will instantly make you a happier person and that your life will be complete once you have him. When I was younger, I used to wish (even more-so than I do now) that my life was like a movie. I thought that my life was sad because I didn’t have a boyfriend like I saw girls have in the movies. I used to tell myself that “Life will be better when I have a boyfriend.”
At the beginning of every school year from 6th to 11th grade, I made it my goal to find a boyfriend, so that my life could be “complete.” The funny thing is that when I sought for one, I never got one. I gave up caring, and after accepting the fact that a boyfriend was not coming, I had to live with myself. I had to discover who I was and see that my life was good even though I didn’t have a boyfriend to complete it.
Thus, the very presence of a boyfriend in your life cannot solve those problems for you, but he can be a support system to help you through. If he genuinely cares about you, he will not heighten your awareness of your feelings of insecurity, but he will help you to see the great qualities that you have that he loves, that you may not have seen as strengths before. Learn to be ok with who you are first before entering a relationship.
<3 The Nunnery
2 comments:
I love this post. Especially the last paragraph. That's what we should hope for, someone that genuinely cares about you, who will not heighten your awareness of your feelings of insecurity, but who will help you to see the great qualities that you have that he loves, that you may not have seen as strengths before. This goes both ways. I was in a relationship where where my insecurities were heightened, and it was because of the girl. I am looking for someone that makes me feel special and helps me see my potential. Kudos to this post.
You are a very wise woman. :) Well said. I think every girl needs to read this.
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