Your attempt at being cool....has Failed

Since living in the Provo bubble for the last few years, I tend to forget how non-Mormon boys behave in the presence of the opposite sex. On a recent excursion to San Diego I witnessed the demoralizing qualities that are true douche bags, rekindling my appreciation for Mormon boys and their sincere attributes. While staying with my engaged friend, we decided to take the ferry from Coronado to the San Diego Harbor to walk the artistic streets of Embarcadero. It was on our way back that trouble began.

While we were waiting for the ferry to go home, a douche lord dawning a Celtic's jersey covered in tattoos approaches us asking how we were doing and when the ferry was coming. We simply gave short to the point answers. As he walked away to smoke another cigarette because he didn’t smell grotesque enough, we boarded the uncrowded boat, only to have him sit right behind us. Since I was studying my flashcards he saw an opportunity for conversation. His opening line…drum roll, “Are you girls not from America? Are you trying to learn English?” Honestly wtf, who asks someone that! Especially since we just talked to you before in clear English! Obviously we ignored the gesture for a continued conversation, but he insisted asking our ages and if we lived in San Diego. By the way he was 28, how gross is that to continue to creep when he knew we were only 22. My friend said her fiance was stationed on Coronado; upon recognizing that she was strictly off limits his unrequited attention was turned towards myself. He asked if she was going to set me up with a Navy boy and if I had “rolled around with someone in the dirt” because I had some dirt on my arm. At this point I was cycling through a string of curse words in my head while trying to decide if he was intoxicated or not. He continued his idiotic antics by asking to teach him some flashcards so he could use them in poetry.

That was enough, obviously one word answers was not sufficient so I flashed him a silent response of annoyance, that left us some time to enjoy the peace. As we were leaving he asked if we wanted our picture taken together, we declined and quickly left. Only five minutes later while we were walking home another douche pulled out his hand towards my friend for a high five with verbal encouragement, “Come on give me a high five!” He was denied as she quickly walked passed in hopes of avoiding the awkwardness. Yet again, five minutes after that we were trying to cross a busy street only to be hollered at like cattle.

Needless to say, I was appalled by this experience. Does acting like a total narcissistic jerk make girls swoon? I just cannot believe that the guys we encountered receive dates by behaving in this manner; it’s shocking.

<3 The Nunnery