Many nuns feel an overwhelming desire to be in a relationship. The desire to have a boyfriend most likely stems from the nun’s obsession with the media, specifically romantic comedies and teen dramas. These movies make relationships look dramatic, intense, exciting, and fun. They can cause the nun to believe that having a boyfriend will spice up her life in ways that it has never been spiced up before.
However, one caution that I would like to give to Nuns is to remember that the movie industry capitalizes on its over-exaggeration of love. To state it more bluntly, the representation of the ways that a boy falls in love with a girl in the movies is often VERY unrealistic. Take for example the popular movie plot where the main character is rebelling or freeing herself from the constraints of her old stuffy identity when she moves to or visits a new town.
One day during one of her “quests” to leave her past behind and to explore her new surroundings, she sees the most gorgeous boy EVER glancing at her from across the street. This is their first encounter and it seems as though they will never see each other again, but he shows up in the most unlikely of places and then it’s all downhill from there—they fall in love in like 2 days.
The movie boy is of course PERFECT. He is so nice, and so humble, and so cute, and so kind to old people, and so kind to animals, or kids, or whatever. He has cared for his sick mother. He is the definition of a saint. Or he is the complete opposite, but the girl knows that his heart is inherently good and he just needs her to bring out his goodness.
As nuns know, these scenarios would not work out in reality, although we desperately wish it did. Believe me, there have been many times that I have gone on a family vacation in search of a summer fling and ended up coming home with nothing but a souvenir key chain to show for the trip. These false depictions lead to false impressions of the Nuns’ understanding of what love is “supposed” to be like.
This leads me to my point: Do not try to start a relationship based on an idealized movie version of what a relationship “should be." The boy of your dreams may not meet the idealized qualities or personality of a movie character and it will be hard to try to mold him into one. Your boy will most likely come with his own "stubborn" personality that try as you might, you cannot shape into the perfect Edward Cullen-like specimen.
His personality is the least of your problems. The movies make every day of a relationship look fun and exciting. The movie couple is almost always involved in some sort of activity, be it bridge jumping, making a telescope and looking at the stars in a cemetery, or getting lost in the city and having some crazy adventure. At the end of their crazy day or at some moment during the journey, they have some sort of sentimental moment where they get lost in each other’s eyes and overwhelmed by the love they have for each other.
The above scene will pose some problems for a nun who believes that every day of a relationship will be fun and exciting. In all truthfulness some days, most days, you will probably spend sitting on a couch doing the same thing that you “always do.” You may be depressed about this every day except date nights because the movies told you that it was not supposed to be like this. You’re supposed to be fun and exciting and have a sentimental moment everyday!? The movies need a dose of reality, but no one wants to watch people sitting on a couch, everyone hates reality . . .
<3 The Nunnery
