Mending a Broken Heart

Romantic relationships can be complicated and messy. Let's face it; most relationships don't work out, as most of us will (hopefully) only end up with one significant other. The purpose of the relationships that don't quite work out is to let us grow as a person and to figure out how to make a relationship work when we do find that special someone. Unfortunately when most relationships end someone has to get hurt. Sometimes, it's even hard for both sides--after all, breaking up is not easy to do. It hurts to throw away your story with someone. All the good memories and the dreams and plans you had for the future. It does not matter if you wish things could be different or if you even regret something you did. It does not matter if you regret becoming involved with that person or if you are angry and looking for revenge.

But you must face the fact that your heart is broken.

So now what? Are you going to sit and cry for the rest of your life or are you going to do something to fix your current situation? Put aside all the "what ifs" and remember that you can not change something that was not meant to be. You can only remember the lessons you learned and apply them to the next relationship. And trust me, there will be someone else. But first you need to mend your broken heart. You can do this, you just need to remember that it all depends on you!

Step 1: Cry out everything you have to cry about! When we get hurt, it is completely normal to cry. Don't ever think you are being weak for crying and don't feel embarrassed because of it. You can lock yourself in a room, if you want to, and put on some sad music...but let yourself feel the pain and cry so you can let it go. The main thing here is: Get rid of the pain, just let them go.

Step 2: Get busy. When you are trying to get someone out of your head, you need to put other things inside of it. It doesn't matter how; you just need to get distracted. Go to a movie, play a game, or travel. It does not matter what you are you going to do--the important thing is to find something to do. Find a hobby, find something you enjoy doing, something to keep your mind busy. If your mind is busy you won't have time or space for the person you are trying to forget.

Step 3: Spend some time with your friends. Friends are always great to have in this kind of situation. Friends can make you feel good about yourself and get you distracted easily. They will certainly make you laugh and make you see that you're way more important than you think.

Step 4: Avoid the person. Avoid places you know you might see them. When you're trying to forget someone and you keep seeing them, it becomes harder to move on. If you meet them somewhere be polite, but keep the interaction short. It might be difficult at first because you secretly want to be with them no matter the circumstances, but in the end you will understand why it's better to avoid them.

Step 5: Avoid every kind of romantic thing. If you are trying to forget someone, you should not watch romantic movies or listen to romantic songs...it makes you feel bad and you will certainly remember the person you are trying to get rid of. It does not matter if it is a song you love or if it is playing on the radio, just change the station or do something else...you just need to avoid the romantic things for now.

Step 6: Take good care of yourself. Women tend to run for some kind of self-destruction when they're hurt. When the relationship fails we have no reason to take care of our appearance anymore and the only thing that gives us comfort is chocolate and sugar. That way we become less attractive; which, is apparently convenient since we are not ready to date anyway. But this laziness depletes our self-confidence. So if you are hurt, just try to use your pain to benefit yourself instead of against yourself. Go to the gym and look like you actually took a shower...do whatever you can so you feel beautiful and confident!

Step 7: Open your eyes. You are still in the grieving process for step 7 and by no means are you ready to date yet. But, open your eyes and force yourself outside your comfort zone. There might have been someone who was perfect for you, but you were too busy putting effort into a relationship that wasn't going anywhere. Be open minded and stop comparing every girl you meet to the one that didn't work out.

Step 8: Accept the process. Getting over someone takes time and you have to accept that. You can't expect to forget in 2 days someone you loved for 2 years and you can't pretend to be strong if you feel like crying. Just face your pain and accept that it is not easy and it is going to take some time. When you are patient with yourself and your situation, things tend to get easier and better.

Forgetting someone is not easy to do nor is it easily explained in just 8 steps. But here are some things that will help make the process smoother. As I said, it takes time and it is hard but I'm sure you can do it. The only thing that is really important is: It all depends on you! If you want to forget someone, then you will, there is no doubt. Even if it takes a long time, even if you have to be strong...you will be. In that kind of situation we usually find out that we are a lot stronger than we give ourselves credit for. So believe in yourself, take a deep breath, and move on!

<3 The Nunnery