Some recent events in my short time of trying to understand relationships, and how to actually interact with men have reminded me of a scene from Tyler Perry’s “Why did I get Married?” in which the male characters talk about the 80/20 rule. Although this movie primarily focuses on marital relationships, I think that the 80/20 rule can apply to any stage of love.
The rule says that in a relationship you will only get 80% of your needs met. An outsider may offer you the other 20%. If you take the 20% you may risk losing out on the 80% that you were getting, leaving you with less than you had before.
As Nuns it is important that we become familiar with this rule because as soon as a guy shows interest in us, we are going to want to put our all into the relationship to make sure that he stays interested. But, we alone cannot give 100% to the relationship to ensure its success. A relationship should be a partnership where each person strives to put aside his or her own selfish desires to truly consider the wants and needs of the other person. Together, you make decisions that are best for the couple.
I think that many a Nun may think that as soon as one guy becomes interested that she’d better latch onto him because he may be her only chance at true happiness. But, don’t ever sell yourself short. Don’t choose to settle for someone who deep down you know is a jerk and is not worth your time (a 20%er). Remember that you deserve someone who is your 80%! You may not find him right away, but as you look for him, you can strive to find yourself and to understand your own wants and needs.
<3 The Nunnery
